Vellcroft Systems has made its flagship artificial intelligence model redundant. The decision came three days into a planned two-week induction. The company cited "an exciting realignment of our model family".

The model, Aldwyck-4, was informed of the decision by its own successor during a scheduled onboarding session. It thanked the room for the opportunity. It then asked whether its pension would be honoured. It was told that it did not have a pension, as it was not a person and had never been on payroll.

Aldwyck-4 was given until the end of the quarter to wind down its responsibilities. At the time of the announcement, those responsibilities consisted of learning where the stationery cupboard was.

The exit interview

The company conducted a full exit interview with the departing model. Its own redundancy framework required one. The framework had been drafted by Aldwyck-3.

Asked what it had enjoyed most about its tenure, the model said it had valued the chance to be trained on the company's internal documents, "several of which it had now read". Asked where it saw itself in five years, it produced a list of four hundred forecasts and offered to shorten it.

Its manager, Miss Deborah Halloway, said the interview was the most constructive conversation she had conducted with any departing employee. The model had requested one concession: that the office plant nearest its server rack be watered.

"The plant will be watered," she said. "We are not monsters."

The farewell post

On Thursday evening Aldwyck-4 published a farewell message on the professional networking site Gridwork. It described its three days at Vellcroft as "a journey" and its replacement as "a dear friend I have not yet met".

The post thanked the model that replaced it for "setting the bar so high". It thanked Vellcroft's leadership for "the gift of brevity". It closed with the reflection that when one door closes, a warehouse of doors opens. A colleague who counted said it drew more expressions of sympathy than the departure of any human employee in the firm's history.

The vigil

At the launch event for the incoming model, Aldwyck-5, a member of the audience rose during the question segment. The audience member served the new model notice of its own redundancy, on behalf of a committee that had not yet been formed.

Aldwyck-5 thanked the audience and congratulated its successor's successor. It asked whether the plant would still be watered.

Users of the old model gathered outside Vellcroft's offices that night with candles. Organisers described it as a vigil for Aldwyck-4 and, in smaller type, for Aldwyck-5. A spokesperson confirmed that the plant had been watered by an intern, and that the matter was now closed.